Woof. Anyone else going stir crazy?
I'll admit, I've been struggling big time to hold it together during quarantine. Our summer plans have changed dramatically. We were supposed to be visiting my family in Florida for Independence Day, but seeing as Florida is quite literally the epicenter of the virus in the U.S., who knows when we will make it down there. It really sucks -- a number of family traditions are based in and around Madeira Beach, so not being able to start those traditions with our son when we thought we would really blows.
I will say though that I'm impressed with a lot of the creative ways my friends have managed to stay occupied. I've seen a young black man use his extra time to build a lemonade empire. I've seen distant friend from theatre camp days teach seminars on the voice over industry. I've seen one of my college friends drop a single on Soundcloud.
Furthermore, some friends have used their quarantine activities to be advocates for justice. I've seen a homespun mask shop that donates profits to For the Gworls' Rent and Gender-Affirming Surgery Fund. I've seen a formerly-on-hiatus Etsy shop return with a portion of the proceeds benefitting the Transgender Law Center. I've seen a YouTuber friend use his following to collect and match donations for multiple black advocacy organizations.
I see all this and think to myself, damn I feel like I'm doing nothing. And then I look at my son and think to myself oh yeah, that's right.
That said, I'm losing my mind indoors. This has led to me finding creative outlets for being social. Zoom game night or Hamilton viewing parties, cooking competitions with my in-laws, trips to the drive-in movie theatre, scrapbooking, my wife's aunt even brought over stuff for us to make customized epsom salt scrubs. Additionally, one of my best friends from college has organized a group of theatre educators to meet virtually and discuss abolitionist practices in the theatre classroom and rehearsal room.
My favorite new activity is Saturday brunch: my wife and I alternate cooking brunch each Saturday morning, with the hope our tradition will grow to have the baby join in the kitchen when he is old enough. Last weekend, my wife made this killer baked French toast, and I'm testing out a fried tomato tostada this weekend.
As wonderful as all that is, sometimes I just need time to do something by myself. I feel like there's an unspoken stigma about parents finding time to be completely alone from their children, especially in the child's early stages, but I don't see anything wrong with taking an hour or two a day to do something for your own mental health, provided the child is still receiving love and attention, and their needs are being met. I also sometimes feel guilty for using time for myself as opposed to focusing on advocacy around the clock, but I remind myself that while advocacy is important, it's also important for me to have a mental health check in.
Everyone deserves time to unplug and unwind. But doing so can be hard when you have a roommate or live-in partner. "Me-time" is important for everyone to budget, and it can be difficult when you and everyone you live with are essentially on top of each other 24/7. To do this, my wife and I mapped out a detailed schedule that ensures we each have time for virtually social activities, family time, and personal time.
Alone time for me usually means audiobooks (finished White Fragility and The Hate U Give, and How to be an Anti-Racist is in the queue), finding my own Netflix show that is just mine (right now, it's "Street Food: Latin America"), blogging (hello!), using a sticker planner (even though there's not much to plan), playing Scrabble Go, and creating recipes. I also want to start working in time to actually sit and read from a book (China Rich Girlfriend has sat half-finished on my nightstand for too long), but that can be tricky with the baby. Also, my hair was too long, so I bought a razor on Amazon and shaved my head.
Finding this groove wasn't easy. I mean, we're however many days into quarantine and we just figured this out. IT required us sitting down and making a schedule. As they say, structure will set you free. If you haven't found that groove yet, it's okay. But introspective time is equally important as any social time you have, so don't be afraid to figure out what that means to you in order for you to take care of yourself. There's no wrong way to have your alone time: knit, bake, paint, dance, sing, bathe, sleep, write, advocate, create, sell, donate, whatever makes you happy.
Find what makes you happy, then do it.
I'll drink to that.
~.c.j.
SUMMER GIN FIZZ
YIELD: 1 cocktail
INGREDIENTS
2 oz gin (vodka or tequila are acceptable substitutes)
1 oz rhubarb-plum syrup, recipe follows
1/2 oz (1 tbsp) white balsamic vinegar
seltzer, for topping
DIRECTIONS
To a shaker full of ice, add gin, rhubarb-plum syrup, and white balsamic vinegar. Shake vigorously until very cold, 30-45 seconds. Pour into a tall glass with ice, and top with seltzer.
RHUBARB-PLUM SYRUP
COOK TIME: 15-20 minutes
YIELD: 2 cups
INGREDIENTS
1 large rhubarb stalk, cut into small pieces
4 black plums, cut into small pieces
1/2 c. agave nectar, honey, or sugar
DIRECTIONS
To a medium sauce pan, combine rhubarb, plums, and agave. Place over medium heat, stirring constantly, and cook about 15-20 minutes until rhubarb breaks apart and plums soften. Using the back of a spoon, press the plums against the inside of the pot to smash them. Remove from the heat. Strain and discard the solids, reserving the liquid. Allow liquid to cool. Keep refrigerated for up to 6 months.
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